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Is It Cheating If There Is No Sex?


How do you define cheating in a relationship? Does it involve sex? Would you feel as violated and betrayed if the act of cheating only went as far as kissing? If your spouse or companion’only offense was an emotional attachment to another man or woman; would that be considered cheating?

Well here’s my perspective on the situation. No one wants to be betrayed and we want to be able to trust our significant other while we’re not around. The reality is that some people cheat and it used to be that when one half of a partner in a relationship strayed, “sex” was the key component. Actually that attribution hasn’t changed at all, I guess it depends on the individual who is seeking refuge in another whether it be driven by lust or another need. 

Let’s talk about that “other need” for a moment. Many “emotional” affairs transpire when the offender becomes vulnerable in a situation where they’re open to stray. If there is no sex involved, it is still cheating to me. You see, the significant other has mentally and emotionally checked out of the relationship. They have went to the other side, so to speak, where the “grass” is a brighter hue if green and flourishing. The emotional attachment can be a starting point for a growing affair or it could be sufficient enough where no sex is wanted or needed and just the attentiveness of the other person alone can keep them going back for more.

A sexual or emotional affair is equally hurtful. If you are the victim to a party who strayed, there are still those lingering questions of “What could I have done differently?” “Why wasn’t I enough?”  Is it less hurtful for some when the fidelity was only of the heart? Some women may say yes. They may feel that as long as their boyfriend or husband did not engage in sex outside of the relationship, that it wasn’t cheating and that the event may or could only be a precursor to an actual sexual affair. It’s debatable and it depends on the person who has been cheated on to decide. I can only speak for myself and a few women who have been through both forms of infidelity.

The aftermath of either offense of cheating is for another post, for another time; however, I was curious of what many of you thought  and wanted your perspective on this topic. This is definitely a conversation piece and I would enjoy a few men sounding off on this post because women cheat too. What say you?

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